


You Gotta Stay

by Abstract_Reality



Series: As the World Caves In [1]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angry Ellie, Angry Joel, Father-Daughter Relationship, Mentions and depictions of injury, Mentions of Blood, Scene Study, Self Loathing Joel, Spoilers!!, This is quite short, Trigger Warning: Light Gore and Death, but we needed this, ellie and joel didnt deserve it, ellie calls Joel dad, which I know is not canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abstract_Reality/pseuds/Abstract_Reality
Summary: Warning: This content contains light gore and spoilers for content relating to Joel in the beginning of Last of Us II.Joel thinks about his life as he begins to let go. Until Ellie shows up to try to save him.This is really just to mend my broken heart because I wish I knew what he was thinking about.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Series: As the World Caves In [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806379
Comments: 12
Kudos: 91





	You Gotta Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking your time to read this little short I created. It really was just something I wrote to get my mind off of the scene, because it had me incredibly sad. I like to think Joel was at least a little content with his life before it all gets stolen away from him.  
> Title is based off a song.

Joel can’t remember the last time his body was this beaten down.

He knows that Ellie had taken care of him for a time, back when it was just the two of them. But a lot of it was tough to remember, even years later. Back then, the pain was a thrum under his skin. It was always there, but with rest, it was at least bearable, and with time, it slowly faded away to the background. Then, of course, there were all the times he had been shot. Or stabbed. Or burned. Though that last one could be equated to clumsiness more often than not. But all that pain and all that ache went away after a while. Wounds healed with time and help and loved ones. He knew that it was temporary.

Unlike now. 

The bones in his leg are absolutely shattered, that he knows for sure. Not only could he feel every piece of it stabbing into him like needles, he saw them a little while ago and it wasn’t pretty. Alongside that, the skin and muscle are shredded, as if the bones weren’t enough to have him drunk on his own pain. He has to give it to Abby, she fucked him up pretty good. His fault for turning his back on her. He knows Ellie far too well to know that young women are probably the most dangerous people around nowadays. He grits his teeth and lets out a muffled yell as she continues to go to town on his broken body. His brain is screaming at him to get up. To fight back. To make it back home. But his body. His body won’t let him. Even tensing his fingers is like digging into an open wound. 

He wonders if this is how that one cannibal felt, when Ellie gave him what he deserved. Wonders if he suffered. Wonders if he knew he deserved it, like Joel does now. Nothing says revenge like a slow death, he supposes. He just wishes that he had time to fix all his sins. He hates the idea of a ‘changed man’, knows that an evil man can’t help having an evil heart. But even an evil man can make amends. And he likes to think that he would’ve done that, if he’d have gotten the chance. 

His thoughts of regret and self-loathing come to a skittering stop as he hears the door to the room open. Before Joel even knows what’s happening, he hears fighting and screaming. He hears his name, but everything is too foggy right now. He wills his eyes to open, but it’s like he’s trying to lift weights off his eyelids, and even when he does manage it, he can’t make out any faces. At least, not right away. Not until she’s being slammed down in front of him, just out of reach.

Ellie has tears in her eyes and she’s beat up pretty bad already. Then some son of a bitch kicks her, and he wishes he could manage to get a word out. Get a punch in. Hatred sets his skin alive like a sunburn and his chest aches with a desire to let all his anger out. He just needs a chance. Joel knows he isn’t thinking straight but he also knows that when he walked away with Ellie tucked against his chest that day he made a promise. Promised the both of them that nobody would hurt her, touch her, hell even breathe next to her if she didn’t want them to. He spent the last half-decade keeping that promise and in one afternoon, these people have completely ruined it all. 

Joel tries to stifle the anger deep within him and thinks back to that photo of her on his dresser. The two of them, leaning against a fence, watching her horse. God, what did she call that poor thing again? Right, Shimmer. Joel remembers laughing when he heard that, expecting her to pick something very practical. Maybe a human name like Jane, or even just ‘horse.’ She taught him something that day, when he heard her call out to Shimmer. That Ellie, as hard as it might be to believe sometimes, is just like every other teen girl. And he just needs to be reminded of that every so often.

He just wishes that the newest reminder wasn’t right now. With her chubby cheeks shoved against the wood of the floor and her eyes wet with tears as she looks directly at him. She looks so afraid, like a child in the dark. If only he could tell her it would all be okay. He just hopes she won’t hate him for not being strong enough to. Tears are running down her cheeks and her hoarse voice calls out to him, “ _ Joel! _ Get up!”

People are talking in hushed tones all around him, discussing how everything is gonna happen. But Joel already knows how this is gonna go. As much as he wants to move. As much as he wants to jump up and save them all from these people. Joel knows that he can’t. Knows that this is the end of the line for him. He used to hope that he would live to grow old. See his brother’s family grow. Go to Ellie’s wedding, if she decides to have one. Maybe even see Ellie have a kid or two of her own. God, he just knows she would be an amazing parent. And he bets that she’d want to adopt, just to make a comment about ‘choosing family’ and ignore Joel on purpose. A tear rolls down his cheek at the thought. 

It’s strange. Missing something that you know you can never make it to.

“ _Dad!_ ” Ellie cries, almost like the word has been punched straight out of her.

His breath catches for a moment, before he smiles. He hasn’t heard that in a while. “Baby girl…”

And then, just like that, he’s gone.


End file.
